• Staff

FRIENDZONED Problems with the Popular Phrase

Haley Slussler


"Let's just be friends," the kindest way of rejection, it'll sting at first. The "Friend Zone," a state of unrequited feelings and affection, is given for all the wrong reasons. Contrary to popular belief, no one should be ashamed of their feelings for someone who won't reciprocate those feelings back, we've all experienced heartbreak, and it hurts. But friend-zoning is nothing more than a myth; it can not exist; there's a line drawn between friendship and love. In some cases, romantic relationships can blossom from close friendship. Friendships do not equate to romance. World of Weird Things conducted a study, in which women had shown less attraction to their male counterparts, and they wouldn't start befriending men that are deemed desirable. Young men overestimate their attraction to said friend or friends, therefore creating an illusion known as the "Friend Zone."

The main problem causing rejection is your approach and actions. "Friend zoning" is not, usually, based on appearance. It's based on your personality, how you act, your overall demeanor. The lack of regard for your friend's emotions is unacceptable and wallowing in your self-pity about how you were being "led on." Acting entitled to a relationship says enough of your perspective of friendship. It's skewed beyond recognition. Pursuing a relationship when they're troubled with the idea, knowing they're not comfortable, is sickening. The truth is: you don't fit their ideal for a stable relationship, and they only want friendship. Let it be.

Following the conversation, here are two important words to remember: stability and standards. Standards work by filtering out possible and impossible partners. Everyone has standards, low and high. A closer friendship, let alone romance, requires steadiness. If they're fine with flirting, let them move at their own pace to trust and then try for a closer relationship. If they're interested in dating you, go for it. Do not guilt trip someone into dating, especially when they have no prior interest.

Your friendships need to be preserved, and a friend would not risk a friendship for the sake of puppy love. If you're committed and willing to ruin your friendship to date them, it's simple, and you're not their real friend. Still fixating on a person, who has not shown any interest whatsoever, will strain your prior relations with your love interest.

On the other side, some teens prefer outward appearances, only judging books by their covers. Rejection can be based on looks; some people care about appearances rather than inner beauty. You could be a reincarnation of Mother Teresa and still get rejected. If you do not exhibit someone's preference, walk away from romance, and continue your relationship as companions. People have preferences. There are 7.8 billion people on Earth, and that number is increasing.

Therefore, the "Friend Zone" does not exist, but rather people who try dating friends. Blurring the lines of friendship and "love," then parading it as an intolerable menace, a villain that attacked "poor souls" who caught feelings for a friend. Starting an arbitrary relationship with your friend and achieving that goal even when it won't last in the future. They're a group of individuals, with a 'one-track mind' might I add, that refuse to change. Friendship and romantic feelings cannot mix, whether they like it or not.

Wanting to date your comrade isn't inherently detestable, but, Mon Ami, you're barking at the wrong tree. In this world, people come and go throughout your life as you mature. There's bound to be someone out there, somewhere, for you and only you. Find euphoria and prosper from the pain you've experienced because one person should not get in the way of your growth.

Wait on trying to find love, take advantage of camaraderie and resources you may need; work to mature.

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